[Dis]connectedness

I don't know what happened to April, I feel like it was here one day then gone the next. Lately I've been extremely introspective, and even though it sounds silly, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Intense pondering, you know, the kind where your mind hurts after. I imagine it's due to the questions my thesis re-writes have raised and having to defend my stance on some issues - the problem being figuring out exactly what my position is in the first place. 

Central Park in bloom

A few weeks ago I took my laptop to Bryant Park on one of the rare and enjoyable 70 degree New York afternoons and it quite literally took me 3 hours to write 2 (double-spaced!) pages of text. I couldn't stop ruminating over minute details of my argument, and the more I wrote, the more questions my mind produced. To summarize my thesis topic I'll say I've been writing about my generation, the millennials, and how arts institutions have to adapt in response to drastic changes in modes of cultural participation. And for the past month I've been in one of those situations where the idea or topic you have in mind suddenly starts cropping up in everything you see, hear, and read. 

For the past few weeks I've continued to come across articles detailing the psyche of the millennial generation: expressive, confident, connected, excellent at research and multi-tasking. Yet we are also described as the least empathetic generation in decades; we consider money and image more important than self-acceptance and being part of a community. Naturally, I wanted to defend us, to say this wasn't true. In dissecting these recent studies, researching the history of cultural participation, and mapping the social implications of technological trends, though, I found myself questioning if this really wasn't true. The word that has stuck with me is connected. 

The Cloisters, Manhattan

I am certainly connected in the sense of being linked to or associated with people, news, ideas, and content via modern technology and the Internet, but what about true connection in terms of identifying with or relating to people, ideas, and content in more traditional forms? I began my research thinking technology was a catalyst for connection and creativity, and I still believe it is to an extent. But there is an unspeakable alienating effect of being a part of a generation that has a constant need to be connected; one that measures social value in terms of Facebook friend count instead of real time spent with a friend. 

Technology has given me the opportunity to video chat with my family from across the world (or across the house, if I want) yet its prevalence in my life has reduced my need and ability to recall from memory phone numbers, birthdays, and even prose. I can list on one hand the number of people who call me on the phone instead of texting. Every time I give someone a hand-written note they are touched and say it is a dying art form. At a brunch I attended this afternoon a few people were more concerned with updating their location and posting photos than conversation, so much so that I wondered whether we're not all living a parallel virtual life instead of enjoying the real one. We update and share things online to make our lives seem more interesting than they are, all so that a bunch of acquaintances and a few real friends can give their thumbs up to our successes or casually commiserate with our plights.

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens

I am guilty of this, too. Perhaps most obviously because I am ranting on a web log for no reason other than my supposition that people I know might be interested, and, of course, my own vanity. (But I suppose I can blame that on my generation.) I upload photos and write catchy one-liners about my day, checking on a regular basis to see who has commented. But why do I do this? All this time spent by myself, ruminating in New York City has shed some light on the matter. Millennials are unable to be alone. In moments of solitude, even intimacy, we have to be constantly connected. We're so busy communicating and trying to stay in-the-know that we don't stop and think about what really matters. Somehow we have come to believe that being constantly connected will make us less lonely. But the truth is, we have an inability to be alone, be separate, gather our thoughts.

a place for reflection, The Cloisters, Manhattan

Connectedness has created a vast wealth of opportunity to spread ideas, ignite creativity, and share thoughts. Yet in the process of all this exciting advancement, true emotional connection has fallen by the wayside. I felt an initial frustration at being alone in New York without many acquaintances, but soon thereafter I felt a particular freedom and thrill about it. In these few months of physical disconnection, away from both school and home, I have found a deeper connection with myself that has led me to stop, think, and fully comprehend what really matters to me. I don't want to be remembered as having been part of an image-absorbed generation with the least empathy, but rather one that exalts innovation, is open-minded and inclusive, and values connection in all its forms.