Going the Distance

What is it about distance, I mean serious kilometers, that gives you a new perspective on things?  I've been here in Italy for almost 3 months now and I can say I haven't deeply considered my life from this angle.  Maybe it's the longitude, or my closer proximity to the North Pole.  Perhaps I should attribute this newfound consideration to the constant (or semi-constant) blogging and published introspection.  Either way, these days I seem to have much more clarity regarding my life.

I suppose it's that I am experiencing so many new ideas, concepts, cultures, places and people that it just makes a girl stop and think.  Everything that's normal, comfortable and common for me doesn't exist in this new dimension.  I'm not just talking about adjusting to a life that requires me to dry my socks overnight on the water heater to ensure they'll be ready for class the next day.  But rather the lack of nearness to people that matter to me.  One thing's for sure, being suddenly without friends and family really makes an impact on you.  But when you're too busy to realize you're actually on another continent, one day it will just hit you.

introspective moment by the ivy.

Last week I received a few packages and postcards from family members and friends with thoughtful tokens and encouraging messages.  A cute new outfit from one, giving me confidence and a touch of sass for upcoming events and presentations.  Then a handmade postcard with a photo of Rome and another with an image of the UT Tower taken just for me.  Finally a package of American goodies and a couple beautiful handmade scarves with thoughtful messages written on each.  I sat on my bed with my spoils of war carefully arranged around me and thought about how blessed I am.  There are people in my life who spend time on me because they love me, and that's an indescribable feeling.

You know what's as beautiful as the canals and tiny streets of Venice or the pastoral English countryside?  Truly feeling loved.  Knowing that someone cares enough to tell you, show you, make a gesture  of selflessness.  That's beautiful.

ruminations happen here.

Distance from my family and friends has resulted in my daily consideration of their importance in my life.  I've always known this, but why is it that these things always make more sense when you've gone far away?  The unconditionality of love is a funny thing.  No matter what someone does, where they go, who they are, why they make their decisions, love seems to transcend all of that.  And there are so many types of love that astound me.  Love at first sight, love between best friends, the love of a mother.  And the love that lasts over time, over hardship, over disputes.  What did we ever do to deserve this love?  I know I've been a stubborn, stalwart wench at times who's sloughed off the notion of love; I've ignored it when it didn't suit my needs and spent years convincing myself I didn't need it.  But that's just the thing about love, we do need it.

We must be true to ourselves and at the same time love someone for who they are, not who we want them to be.  (Thanks for that one, Grandma.)  Because what is it worth - this adventure of mine, this professional and personal discovery - if I cannot share it with those I love?

capturing the memories.

I am blessed.  Not only having the means to be here and having the opportunity to learn and grow, but also to be supported by so many irreplaceable people.  The feeling you get when you realize you mean something to someone, you made a difference to them, you're important to them and that they'd love and support you no matter what -- that's a feeling we should acknowledge and embrace in every way.

Being far from your loved ones is never easy, but it's sure made easier when you get an email from them with pics from their latest baking endeavor, when you chat with them on gmail about their day, when you skype them just to see their face, when you receive a postcard with their sentiments, and even when throwing on a new skirt or enjoying a box of animal crackers.  That doesn't hurt either.